Sunday, July 19, 2015

Down the Rabbit Hole

Remember late last year when I was flown to Brisbane for the opening of that amazing Japanese Fashion exhibition at QAGOMA? Well the above dress is what I had dreamed of wearing to the opening, by local Melbourne label Alpha 60 it has that modern Japanese sensibility to it and I wanted to represent some local Melbourne design at the event. However at the time this dress did not fit me at all, so I had to make other outfit plans - but I never forgot the dress. Since then I've been on a bit of a journey, both of the emotional and physical kind, and part of that journey was signing up for a weight loss trial with a local university and I've lost 20kgs so far. Previously I had never in my life actively tried to lose weight, I was happy as I was, and even now I am completely comfortable with being whatever size I may be, big or small I am still 100% body positive. I did this for me and I am proud that I have lost the weight but I do know that me doing this won't make everyone happy in the fatosphere and there could be a backlash which is why I've not really addressed it before today, even though people have noticed in the comments. At this point I'm still fat, I still happily identify as fat, and I'm not currently trying to lose any more weight. Right now, even more so than before, I sit in that awkward "inbetweenie" size range where I can fit into certain pieces in straight sized stores and still fit into plus size clothing too. As you all know I've always shopped and worn both plus size and straight sized clothes but now I just have more options in the straight sized clothing world, and this dress is one of them. It was such a freaking surprise that this fit me, I saw it sitting in the Alpha 60 outlet store in Fitzroy and remembered how much I had wanted it to fit just a few months ago for that opening night in Brisbane, so I decided to try it on. I honestly could not believe it got on, surely I hadn't lost that much weight? I don't really see it when I look in the mirror, I only notice it when I go to wear an old favourite skirt and it won't stay up, or in this instance something I really wanted but couldn't get over my head in the past in size L would now fit me in the size M. FYI sizing is weird and arbitrary, every store is different and if there's one thing I've learnt over the years it is it pays to always try things on. I'm still plus size, but I fit more into the size 14-16 bracket now, I still can't go into most stores and have something fit, but when I can it honestly is mind blowing. I can't imagine what it's like to have that be every single shop in every single street, that is a heck of a lot of choice, I'm not sure I or my wallet could handle it, especially considering my old rule of if it fits I buy it because finding something that fit was so rare. Experiencing some elements of thin privilege for the first time is certainly an eye opener and for now I'm happy to stay in this happy middle ground, but who knows what the future may bring? I may not be able to maintain the weight loss, which I know from extensive reading and the doctors I've been seeing is extremely common as your body is naturally fighting to go back to its set point weight. The weight loss industry feeds off this, and blames the dieters for going back to their old habits creating a never ending cycle of profit off the backs of people who then get depressed and blame themselves. I'm glad I've still never paid a single cent to the diet industry, not that there's anything wrong with you if you have. Eeeep this is meant to be about a dress and not an essay on my feelings about the evilness of the diet industry. This dress is what dreams are made of, white spotty silk goodness, I'm so happy that eventually we were able to be together.

White spotty dress Alpha60 Clearance Store
Gold satchel bag Comme des Garçons x Cambridge Satchel Co collaboration piece
Gold bunny mask H&M
Gold clogs Funkis
Gold flakes resin bangle Sly Pony
Gold pom pom bracelet Poms Jewellery
Gold flower ring Marc by Marc Jacobs,
Gold nails Kmart press on nails, only $2!

I found this amazing gold bunny ears mask whilst cutting through H&M one night as it was raining outside. It was just sitting there with a giant red $2 sticker, and as much as it pains me to buy anything at H&M because I deplore their unethical factory conditions, I also really loved this mask. I've spoken before on my relationship with cheap fast fashion and preferring to steer clear as much as possible, but I also indulge very occasionally when something really stands out and catches my eye. Personally I believe I do the best I can and really it is up to the corporations to do better and not the individual entirely, yes I can and do mostly take my money elsewhere but sometimes I don't and that's okay too. Basically guys, this mask was cute, and hey, at least I'm talking about the issues of shopping at H&M and not glossing over it with pretty pictures like 99% of the blogosphere out there?

I am so in love with this bag! It's a Comme des Garçons x Cambridge Satchel Co collaboration piece that I found on a buy and sell facebook page. Such a fun bag to wear, and I love how I now have accidentally collected a bunch of gold accessories to pair with it, even down to my gold press on nails which were another cheapo $2 score this time from Kmart (who have signed the Oxfam accord, so potentially not as unethical as H&M but you can never be 100% sure).

Gold satchel bag Comme des Garçons x Cambridge Satchel Co collaboration piece
Gold flakes resin bangle Sly Pony
Gold pom pom bracelet Poms Jewellery
Gold flower ring Marc by Marc Jacobs,
Gold nails Kmart press on nails, only $2!

I have always wanted a pair of Funkis clogs, and as I was walking through the city one night I noticed they were having a big sale at their Strand Arcade store in Melbourne. I got these for only $60, quite the score, and this time the bargain is an ethical one! I think I'm having a bit of a gold moment hey?

Shop the look!!!


  1. Great post. After losing 30kg and dropping to a 14-16 I experienced a bit of backlash in the industry for being "too thin" to be a plus model. I feel like your body tells you what feels right for it and being in a healthy weight range for my height has made such a big difference to my well being. It's nice to see someone have such a refreshing outlook on size and fashion, keep up the great work Hayley and I look forward to seeing you at the next fashion event.

  2. Wow, that's a fantastic dress.

    When I lost weight I thought it'd be so awesome to be able to go shopping and fit into clothes anywhere but, when I got to that point, I realised that there is so much crap out there. If you go to a shopping centre, pretty much all the shops have the same clothes anyway. I'd sometimes look enviously at the plus size stuff because it seemed to be more innovative.

  3. I love your gold mask and i admire you dedication to supporting local brands most of the time - no one is perfect to doing it all the time! :D I like that you try to give the little guys a go and that you mention ethical issues in your blog, not all bloggers gloss over the issues of fast fashion tho, I bitch it out all the time, maybe I'm in that 1%?

    Regarding the weight loss, I hope you haven't had any negative comments from the bodipos movement, but if you have, that sucks cos that isn't what it is about... As an inbetweenie myself, I know what a good feeling it is to have ALL the options, but still some brands with no options because of fits/makes of clothing. Rock on, Hayley.


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